December Goals

So I think I am going to follow in the footsteps of another blog I read http://www.heygorg.com and do goals at the beginning of each month and a progress report on the previous goals. So here goes!

 

Take lunch to work everyday. I can save so much money this way!

Get Camdyn’s room done and move all of her stuff in there.

 

Plan meals each week to make sure that I am eating healthy.

 

Going to the gym at least 3 times a week!

 

Don’t be afraid…and just go with it…I will explain this one later. (;

 

 

So here is my December goals, and I will update you all in January! Another idea is in the works for a blog too…so keep your eyes peeled…(:

 

xoxox

Stacey

 

Bob

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, and if he admits to being human an making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you. –Bob Marley

I love this.

Workin Out!

As I sit here getting ready to go to spin class and waiting on my coffee to brew I was thinking about working out. Not just my body, but my mind and my soul. This year has been a lot of growing, and realizing; trust me it hasn’t been fun either. Things aren’t always what they seem, and if you aren’t focused on what is important then you can lose yourself. I have gained a lot of humility and hopefully will be able to carry that on and teach Camdyn some of the important values I have learned.

I keep hoping for things, people, and ideas because I am a romantic and idealist, but I also have been more conscious and grateful for the things I have in my life. It is a month where people focus on that, but I want to carry it year round. I want to make a grateful list everyday. Maybe not on paper, although on a really bad day it might be a good idea. It is just to remind myself, Stacey look around, stop and smell the roses. I keep reading Jeremiah 29:11-14 and it just reminds me that even when God is letting you endure trials and tribulations he does have a plan for you, and it is a good one! One of my favorite pieces of wisdom that I like to share is, “Nothing worth while is ever going to be easy. Those things, people, jobs take a lot of work.”

Just a few uplifting thoughts and a way for me to reflect. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

xoxox
Stacey

another great one:

Craftyyyy!

So I am totally in love with the website Pinterest.com if you haven’t you should totally indulge! Zack and J were making fun of me because I was looking at all of the ideas, but hadn’t made anything. Well to date I have made a head band for Camdyn, an awesome message board, and my own ModgePodge! Yay. The possibilities are endless. Here are some pictures of some of the things I have made so far! (:

Flowers on the mantle...nice little touch!

Made a message board from an old picture I got from a yard sale...the glass acts as a dry erase board and for the calendar squared I did paint swatches from Sherwin Williams!!

The flower on Camdyn's headband I made

My little model (:

And this is just the beginning of my craftiness! (:

xoxox

Stacey

Downtown Charleston

Sometimes things knock lightly and then other times it hits you over the head…

I have made quite a few mistakes in my life and one of my goals in moving to South Carolina is to acknowledge them, and now try to fix them. I have been praying some and I know one thing that my life needs is God. I tried to go to church last week, but couldn’t find it in the morning and then chickened out in the evening.

I want to get my finances straight. Pay some debts that I owe, pay down my student loans, car loan, and save some money. God has opened the door for me. I have gotten two jobs in the first week and started both of them. I can honestly say that I think I am going to enjoy both and they will be good opportunities. Granted both are part-time and I may need to get another job when the event planning slows down God has provided for me when I haven’t given him much credit lately and just placed the blame everywhere but on myself. Now just pray I can actually establish and stick to a budget because that is def something that I need to figure out ASAP!

So onto the fun stuff…Ms. Brandon, my internship coordinator, has been persistent with me to get some stuff taken care of that needs to be done. I talked to her today and she just lifted me up and gave me the boost I needed. Then I got an e-mail that one of the Community Colleges I was looking at to take some courses to get me ready for grad school is going to add more classes that start in two weeks. God is really opening doors when I need them the most. The classes may or may not work out but just the fact that God is showing me that he is going to take care of me gives me a little peace.

 

Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.

Summer time

So I was told at the beginning of the summer by a certain male that I had done a bit of man bashing on my blog. I want to turn that around…not that I have lots of wonderful things to say on their behalf but I want to share in my adventures of Mommie and Camy.
This past Monday was another terrifying moment when Camdyn fell up my brick steps. We rushed to the emergency room where she immediately made friends with the nurses and everyone she encountered. Luckily things were just fine, no broken bones just a few scratches. I have to brag on my sweet girl. She is so smart. She is 21 months old and she knows her name, age, birthday, sounds animals make, all of her family member’s names and their vehicles! She is a mess! She can plié and turn like a prima ballerina and she has the most adorable pageant wave. I am always so proud of her until she throws her new found tantrums; the terrible twos are coming! I look forward to the rest of the summer because it just makes me admire the innocence of youth. Camdyn is so happy and content spending time with family or playing in the park. I am so happy to say I am her Mommie!

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I wonder why

This year has opened my eyes up a lot. I have finally realized it is time to stop living in the past hoping the same things that never change, will change. I am actually giving new things and new people a chance. I have waited and hoped and hoped and waited for things from my past to work out, and the same things just kept happening. Sorry I know I am being redundant.

I am so happy that things are finally starting to work out for Camdyn and myself. We deserve someone who is going to give us all they have to give. I am not talking about money or possessions neither those are important. But someone who is willing to go into it being a little afraid. Someone who is going to actually make a sacrifice of themselves to show us we ARE important, and we are worth it.

I have felt second rate for three years, like I wasn’t good enough, or maybe I didn’t fight hard enough. Well I am done thinking that way because all I did was try. Even it the things that are happening right now don’t work out I see what I deserve, and I will not settle for anything less.

There is only so much a human being can give without receiving anything in return before they open their eyes and say, “I am done, and this time I mean it.”

Gang bangin…

Lately at work there have been issues with some of our guys having conflicting gang affiliations. I could go on for days about this, and I may post my thoughts on youth, gangs, etc. The story I am about to post has not been edited for grammar, or content. It was written by one of my residents, and there are so many things to be said through this writing. I am going to put everything exactly like he put it so you can see the world through his eyes. The story is fiction, and the names don’t reflect anyone, but the basis of the story is rooted in his own life.

LEARN THE HARD WAY

Setting: Atlanta, GA

Mike: Big time drug dealer and gang banger. Description: He is a muscular smart guy 18 yrs who drops out of school. With dreads

Kebo: Is Mike’s younger brother and he is a gang banger to. Description: He is 15 and 5ft 10in. He has dreads and always wears a hoodie.

Tevin: Is Mike’s homeboy and helps him sell drugs. 19yrs. Description:He is  6ft tall, with an goatee. Always sits on the newspaper stand and wait for licks.

Kimberly: She is Kebo and Mike’s mother. Description: She is short with long hair and light skin.

Timmy: Is the crackhead who Mike and Tevin sell drugs to. Description: Has an hat and some drug Air Force 1’s.

Joe: Was the police that messed with all of the drug dealers and gang bangers. Description: A short officer that harrassed drug dealers.

Scooby: Is the drug lord and supply Mike and Teving with drugs. Description: Is tall long hair drives a Caprice with rims. Its an green Caprice.

NOW ON TO THE STORY

Learn the Hard Way

Once upon a time there was two brothers in the projects. They had no father figure in there life. They got into gangs when there father got life in prison for murder. Once he got lock up the brothers just fell apart. There grades started falling and Mike dropped out. He joined the gang, so Kebo he younger brother followed his older brother footsteps.

This is how it all started in Atlanta, Georgia. First day the summer started Mike and his homeboy Tevin said they want to make some fast money to help there mom pay the bills. So Tevin told Mike that he had a connection for some crack. They went to the trap and bought 2 kilos. When they got there Scooby said what are you going to do with it. Mike said he was going to sell it. Later on that day Mike called Tevin and told him that they had a gang meeting at the trap house. Once the meeting was over Kebo, Tevin, and Mike went to post on the block to sell them kilos. The first salesperson is Timmy a.k.a. crack monster.

The first move they made was to crack head Timmy. They sold him a fifty, thats when the neighborhood officer Joe showed up. When Kebo, Mike, Tevin and Timmy saw Joe they all ran off the block. When Jose saw Timmy, Joe chased Timmy and he fell and his tooth fell out. So Kebo and Mike went home to lay low. While they were laying low their mom said you guys need to just go back to school and do the right thing. So they just went upstairs and started talking to each other about getting some heat. The next day Kebo and Mike went to the block to find some heat. When they found the heat the gunsaler was like “I got a .357 mag.” So the bought three 45’s.

When they got the heat, later on that day the called Tevin and told him to meet them at the trap. When Tevin got there, Kebo gave Tevin his .45. From there they started talking about robbing an drug dealer. the drug dealer was working for Scooby, the one they got the crack form.

So the went to go find the drug dealer that had all the money and drugs. The word was that he be on Nineth Street. That’s when Mike, Kebo, and Tevin went to Nineth Street and they saw him sitting on the block waiting on a lick to come threw. So they were thinking hit the dealer and the lick. Five minutes later the lick came, so Mike took off towards the dealer with the 45. Then he put the 45 in the dealer face. That’s when Kebo and Tevin stuck up the lick and told him to flip his pocket. Mike on the other hand smacked the dealer with the tool. So that’s when Mike ran his pockets and got the stash. Kebo and Tevin got the lick and the got about 2,000.00

Once they got the money, they all ran to the trap to count the money. The walked in and Mike and Tevin big homie was in there waiting on Mike. So his big homie told Mike and Tevin to go shoot at the crips. Mike told Kebo to give his gun to him, and go lay low at his girl house. So Mike and Tevin drove their big homie car to go to the crip hood. They sat around the block, until the sun went down. When the sun went down they put on ski-masks and red flags. They rolled down the window and rod around the corner and spotted them. So they pulled out the .45 and started shooting at them, Mike hit two of the crips in the leg and the other in the neck. Tevin hit the O.G. in the stomach. When they hith thime the drove off and went to the trap to drop the car off. They went into the trap that night and took the masks off.

They told the big homie they had got them. When the finished talking, Mike called Kebo to meet him at home. So they chilled at home for the rest of the night. They sat around the table in there room and counted the money, they had got. When the time went by they fell to sleep. They next morning they woke up and cut on the T.V., that stuff was on. They told there mom they were leaving to go to the trap for a couple of days.

So the drove to the trap to talk to the O.G. They went in and dapped up the O.G., he said “that’s what’s poppin. They had females in the trap counting money. Mike and Tevin seen the newspaper and saw the three they had killed. The work on the street is that Tevin and Mike hit the crips O.G. The police went upnder investigation to see who kille dthe tree dudes that got hit in a drive-yb. The police went to ask questions, but when they finished, all they got was nicknames. So through all the names, the finally got Mike and Tevin name.

So they put out a warrant for Mike and Tevin, then their mother’s found out. When they found out they had a warrant that’s when it started. They the went on the run and laid low, so they wouldn’t get caught. They the sun went down and they went to sleep. In the middle of the night the swat team came in. When they came in Mike was in one room with his girl. The O.G. was in another room. Tevin was in the kitchen eating. So the swat team told them to get on the ground, they got on the ground with no problems at all. But thing about is that the O.G. got away. They took Mike and Tevin to the county jail for holding. The next Mike called Kebo to bail him out, his bail was 150,000.00. So Kebo went to go get the money so he bailed him out and had to go back the next day. All of sudden Kebo mom’s neighbor called and said she shot in the head. So Mike found out, and went ballistic. He had already knew who did it. So him and Kebo geared up and waited till it got darker.

Once it got dark it went down. Mike and Kebo went and shot it up. Then Mike caught another murder charge. Then Mike looked over in the passenger seat and Kebo was bleeding to deaf. Mike just sat there with Kebo until he passed in his arms. The police showed up an dlocked Mike up again. This time he had no bail. The court’s gave Mike 25 to life and Tevin got 15 yrs in prison.

The End Hood Wayz

One Year

Only 4 days until Camdyn will be ONE! My how a year has flown. Some things are unbelievable, but others are typical and I should have known. I am still naive old Stacey, bu I have a more jaded, sarcastic side than ever before. I find myself pushing responsibility off and ignoring things I shouldn’t. Time is of the essence and I have to value everyday as a gift to spend with my precious daughter. Life can be taken away as quickly as it is given, and I don’t want to look back with a lot of regrets.

It is hard having the responsibility of a person relying entirely on your shoulders, and sometimes it is so overwhelming I shut down. I try not to be one of the people I admonished about going out all of the time, but truth be told I understand more now. Being a parent is exhausting, and it is even more so when you do it by yourself. Sometimes you just need a break. I feel like I never get one, but her smile is worth it all. That grin makes my heart melt and all the worries fade away.

Thank you so much for all of the lessons you have taught me this year Miss Camdyn Sophia.  ❤

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